PRWeb: for Immediate Release

I've just been named one of People magazine's "50 Creepiest Men Alive!"

Thanksgiving Tip No. 21

Tired of turkey? Roast a raccoon.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Top Ten Things Tarquin is Thankful for

Last night I made a list. Here are the Top Ten Things I, Tarquin Churchwell, am thankful for:

10. The love of my new bride, Godzilla.

9. Brisk sales of the new "Date & Hate Tarq" action toy.

8. The six most beautiful words in the English language: "All you can eat at Denny's!"

7. The great health care system of the USA and her hard-working Social Security Administration.

6. Starting January 1, my hate blogs will be podcast!

5. The SUS inmate who finally told me that when I ask for AA batteries at the store, I shouldn't call them "aaah" batteries.

4. My new situation comedy, Two and a Half Men and Tarq.

3. My new Blogopoly game, shipped to your door in a plain, brown paper wrapper.

2. When I call hot babes on Internet porn sites, they can't see the green stuff growing out of my shorts.

1. My weight is finally down to 350!

Gobble, Gobble

Welcome, fans, to Tarquin Churchwell's annual Thanksgiving blog! Enjoy yourselves and don't be shy about leaving comments!