Last night I made a list. Here are the Top Ten Things I, Tarquin Churchwell, am thankful for:
10. The love of my new bride, Godzilla.
9. Brisk sales of the new "Date & Hate Tarq" action toy.
8. The six most beautiful words in the English language: "All you can eat at Denny's!"
7. The great health care system of the USA and her hard-working Social Security Administration.
6. Starting January 1, my hate blogs will be podcast!
5. The SUS inmate who finally told me that when I ask for AA batteries at the store, I shouldn't call them "aaah" batteries.
4. My new situation comedy, Two and a Half Men and Tarq.
3. My new Blogopoly game, shipped to your door in a plain, brown paper wrapper.
2. When I call hot babes on Internet porn sites, they can't see the green stuff growing out of my shorts.
1. My weight is finally down to 350!